Soul-work for My Readers: Bust Up the Myth of Independence
Note before we begin:
I actually have soul-work for you to do this weekend.
This isn’t just an essay to nod along with. It’s a set of questions meant to confront you, strip you down naked, and make you choose.
The Ember Path isn’t a place for passive reading. It’s meant for real growth. Real change. That means work.
I hope some of you will share your answers, reflections, even your resistance. This is a space for conversation - real conversation - not just performance.
If you’re here, you’re not a spectator. You’re a participant.
This country sells us one story of independence.
The lone hero.
The pioneer.
The rebel who answers to no one.
We eat it up.
But that story is just another leash.
Because most of what chains us isn’t imposed at gunpoint.
We’re not under colonial rule anymore. We’re under scripts.
Family scripts.
Cultural scripts.
Economic scripts.
Gendered scripts.
Sexual scripts.
We think we’re independent because no one is visibly giving us orders.
But try breaking the rules of your tribe, your marriage, your mother’s expectations.
See how fast the punishments come.
The Quiet Colonization
Real independence isn’t overthrowing kings.
It’s noticing how you volunteered to keep them alive in your head.
Ask yourself:
Who taught you what was desirable?
Who told you what was shameful?
Who defined what made you worthy of love?
Who taught you what you were allowed to want?
You can light all the fireworks you want. If you’re still apologizing for your desire, you’re not free.
The Ember Path Definition of Independence
This space - The Ember Path - was always about naming what’s hidden.
Not in metaphor.
In the raw.
I’ve used fictional characters - Mara, Dr. Moraine, Wyatt, Rook - to explore it.
But let’s talk about you.
Independence isn’t rebellion for its own sake. It’s responsibility for your own hunger.
It’s saying:
I see the story I was handed.
I see who benefits from my obedience.
I see the way I kept myself small.
And I choose to want what I actually want.
An Invitation
Conduct a ruthless audit of your own:
What parts of your life did you sterilize to be acceptable?
Where did you trade freedom for belonging?
Where did you hand over your body for approval?
What would you admit you want if you weren’t loyal to their expectations?
Final Question for Today
If you truly celebrated your own independence - no illusions, no fear:
What would you stop pretending you don’t want?
What would you burn down?
What would you dare to build in the ashes?
Happy Fourth.
Light carefully.
— Angela Perez
The Ember Path
